Archive for January, 2007
What are my chances of getting in the merchant marine or airforce academy?
By: asdf
Do you believe we should eat animals because they are inferior to us?
just because animals have lower intelligence or aren’t as strong as us doesn’t mean that they are inferior. If you believe that then you are saying that children, the elderly, and people with mental conditions are inferior as well. So consequently it would be more socially acceptable to kill them like it is for animals.
By: Jimmy N
Did Adam Have The Best Scuba Gear Available? Or At Least A Submarine? ?
Scuba gear? Or did God provide him with temporary aqualungs? Anyone know how he could have possibly accomplished this feat?
This is a serious question. So please, serious answers only!
Mustalaf, Jews may have come up with their own version of the story but the concept of an Adam shows up in Islam, Christianity and most religious beliefs. It’s only in the Christian version that Adam was required to name the millions upon millions of plants and animals and fish.
Some interesting replies so far, but none sp far that can explain how the feat was accomplished. As to the fish from the sea ‘coming to Adam’ how would that have happened? Fish can’t live out of water.
By: Doc Watson
It’s only a joke?
Now it is a little known fact that during certain times of the year dolphins get to be quite amorous towards EVERYTHING. As this is a family show, this was a situation that had to be fixed whenever it happened.
The method that was found to be the most effective was feeding the dolphins a diet of immature seagulls. Apparently there is some compound in them that calms the urge’s the dolphins felt.
Now, being the new guy, I was sent out to the beach to raid the nest’s for a steady supply of baby seagulls. However, as I was leaving for my first trip the supervisor told me to be careful as the local zoo had reported an escaped lion. They zoo personnel had shot the lion with tranq guns but it had still run off.
I went to the beach any ways and filled several sacks with the baby seagulls. I had to make a couple of trips up and down a winding path up a small line of dunes to get to and from my car, difficult but necessary to not get caught by some Eco-nut.
On my last trip up the dune I saw the lion on the path ahead! He appeared asleep and I saw several large tranq darts stuck in his hide. I decided to try to get past him and the heck out of Dodge.
As quietly as possible I approached the lion and stepped over him, still with the bag of baby seagulls. I hadn’t gotten two steps past the lion when red and blue lights started flashing from every where and a loud voice told me to get on the ground.
I was surrounded by county sheriffs, State police officers and even the FBI! Placed in cuffs and driven to the local FBI office I found out I was being arrested for violating the Mann Act.
Yes, apparently it is against the law to transport young gulls across sedate lions for immoral porpoises
sorry for the length but I’m kinda punny that way
hey One man I said it’s just a joke. You chose to read it didn’t ya. =)) never promised it would be a funny one!
Dang Misty! didn’t know you cared that much =)) LOL!
By: shdwkat2099
Rate my yugioh beat down deck?
Fusions (2)
St. Joan
Rabid Horseman
Monsters x28
Slifer
Wingweaver
Gilford the Legend
Crab Turtle
Dark Magician
Opticlops
Homunculus
Double Coston
Kaiser Sea Horse
Darkfire Soldier #1 & #2
Battle Ox x2
Girochin Kuwagata
Sonic Duck
Fire Kraken x2
Shadowslayer
Aqua Madoor x2
Poison Mummy
Light & Earth - Hex-Sealed Fusion
The Forgiving Maiden
Trap Master
Hane-Hane
Armed Ninga
Ceremonial Bell
Spells x15
Polymerization
Dian Keto the Cure Master
Soul Exchange
Ookazi
Sparks
Change of Heart
Ground Collapse
Convulsion of Nature
MST
Malevoent Nuzzler
Black Pendant x2
Premature Burial
Fusion Gate
Turtle Oath
Traps x13
Enchanted Javelin x2
Waboku x2
Nutrient Z x2
Bottomless Trap Hole
Trap Hole
Cemetery Bomb
Dust Tornado
Skull Lair
Light of Intervention
Magic Drain
Any improvements, please let me know. Rayte on a scale of 1-10. NO INSULTS! Any insults will be reported.
By: Tony Lawrence
What kind of fish eat the trumpetfish or fish like the trumpetfish?
By: THE DUTCHESS♥
Why do deep sea fishes look like malignant demons?
http://www.futura-sciences.com/uploads/tx_oxcsfutura/img/poisson_abyssal.jpg
http://www.bountyfishing.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/fangtooth-fish1.jpg
http://www.biology-blog.com/images/blogs/12-2006/fangtooth-fish-78210.jpg
http://blog.fotoexperte.de/wp-content/uploads/image/portrait-of-a-fish-schindelbeck-700p.jpg
You get the picture… So, dear yahoo answer community, why are deep fishes looking so demoniac. What other surprises linger in our deep waters?
Cheers.
By: nymamer
Do sea monkeys sleep and how big can they grow?
How big do they grow?
By: Oliver P
Do you find this to be humorous, longing, or despondent?
White Trash Walks The Highway
It is October and things still hang in the air,
the town still shimmers through thermals
in the distant horizon.
I try to catch up with the prevalian winds
but I have to build velocity,
Autumn is lagging behind.
Our home is somehow still weather worn,
maybe by the dust of a dirt road
or the remnants of a tropical storm.
There is the occasional slow dance of particles
in the wind of a passing truck,
the collision with a cicada bug,
or leaves left scraping the duct.
Sometimes I think I might crash into the air
clunk heads with a dragonfly,
or **** off too many ants;
but the potted plants in our windows might
be a peace offering,
or maybe a testament that something still grows
where life has faded into an obscurity
only imagination can redeem.
I turn the fan on high at night
and open a window–
the traffic becomes a crashing sea
with a gentle breeze.
Sometimes I’m in a cafe in France
or othertimes lost somewhere in India,
when a certain is spice carried in the air.
By: Joy
Real man test?
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
4. What about hugging another male?
A. If he’s your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
B. If you’re performing the Heimlich maneuver. (And even in this case, you should repeatedly shout: “I am just dislodging food trapped in this male’s trachea! I am not in any way aroused!”
C. If you’re a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:
1. He is legally within the base path,
2. Both of you are wearing protective cups, and
3. You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.
5. Complete this sentence: A funeral is a good time to…
A. …remember the deceased and console his loved ones.
B. …reflect upon the fleeting transience of earthly life.
C. …tell the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer’s disease and cancer.
6. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
7. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She is attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy-you’re watching a football game; she’s reading the papers-when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she’s not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don’t want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you’ll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don’t want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on third and seventeen.
8. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys and the sorrows, the triumphs and the tragedies, and all the adventures and opportunities that the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
9. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. “Do they need to eat or anything?”
B. “They’re in school already?”
C. “There are three of them?”
10. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you’re not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody-and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife-is quietly trying to discard his underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her.
11. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
12. What is the human race’s single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
How to Score…
Give yourself one point for every time you picked answer “C.”
A real guy would score at least 10 on this test.
Give yourself a bonus 5 points for knowing the Alzheimer’s joke
By: Mr. Mister